A circle is a shape with an unbroken circumference and a symbol of wholeness. The boundary edge or line defines the circle. Once it is broken, its no longer a circle. The same principle holds for a womens circle. The boundary must be intact for it to be a circle, and for it to be safe. That boundary is the ability to hold the contents, a necessity for trust to exist. What is said in confidence is held in confidence. Plain and simple.
It is otherwise a meeting of women who do not trust each other, a gathering of women in whose company one wears a persona and social armour.
This is not a sacred circle.
For a woman’s circle to be safe, what is said must be treated with respect, however painful or shameful a confession, however juicy it would be as gossip. Self-revelation takes courage and trust, which must be honoured and held in confidence. Lest you fail her, yourself, and the circle. What is not shared and remains a shameful secret keeps you/her beyond the pale. Outside the circle of acceptance.
Unhealed
For a women’s circle to be safe it must be a womb space for new possibilities where the woman and her dream can be supported when it is barely formed and still in the dark. When the psyche of a woman is pregnant with an idea of what she could do or become. Ridicule aborts what could have come forth, indifference starves it. A safe circle holds the dream of wha she could be in confidence and nourishes the possibility.
~ Jean Shinoda Bolen – The Millionth Circle
Circles are precious containers where we can G A T H E R + P A U S E + R E S T O R E … it takes courage to show up and trust other women. It takes courage to name the un-named. It takes trust to surrender into that which calls you forth into being. What will it take for you to actually trust yourself, your wisdom, your own guidance? Where in your life is this aspect of yourself fully met and seen?
In my work I hear stories of women holding themselves back because of what others may think. Women with “identities” they’ve accumulated to belong, to fit in, to be understood, to be loved. Identifying with achievement, identifying with social standing, identifying with what others will think, identifying with fear and so it goes. And inevitably they become lost, adrift from their own instinctual knowing. Waking up & wondering how the hell did I get here? So lost in layers of identity & conformity.
I was one of those women
Each month we hold a Divine Alchemy circle here in Napier. With a virtual one coming soon.
You may have a belief about women’s circles. Mine is based on The Millionth Circle and my experience over the past seventeen years of circling with other women. The delight and freedom that comes with speaking out loud, hearing what comes out of my mouth, in my voice that, which has been waiting to be expressed. And to be listened to, really listened to. I can often times hear another woman speak and know, just like her, I am travelling the same journey, and a deep felt sense of companionship fills me up. I stop being alone.
My noticing over years has been how close to the bone my truth has become as I pare away trivialities and speak right to the essential moment, without my stories. How easy it is to tell the truth about my life, my changing body, my divinity, my sexuality to women who are truly able to listen, without agenda. How they honour my truth, is sacred & life-changing.
Our inner world is NOT meant to be repressed and pushed away, it is meant to see the light of day, witnessed & acknowledged so it no longer has us in its throes. Our inner world has a voice that is meant to be heard, not smothered to avoid conflict or to please another.
We need more of us willing to hold space. Because more women are showing up for themselves now. Women who are living at the grassroots, emerging from the fog of *this is not working for me any more* Women who have stopped muting themselves to belong.
This is where I am showing up now. This is where the best version possible of me is now being seen. Guiding Divine Alchemy, teaching other women to guide circles, gathering our First Light tribe until the Millionth Circle is touched.
When each circle meets another circle which meets another circle there becomes a tipping point and change happens. When the central values are ones of community, respect, trust, love, truth speaking, compassionate leadership, wisdom and collaboration … This is Divine Alchemy, the transmutation of all the ways in which we have been set against each other. The alchemical reaction of turning dross into gold.
You Are Sacred Ground – let’s gather & honour it …